I’m oh so important how do you not know
Why oh why must you drive so slow
Open your eyes! are you asleep?
Come on move beep-beep beep-beep!

I’m finished work and I’m in a hurry
This ten second delay is making me worry
Another obstruction to me getting home
No need to indicate zoom-zoom zoom-zoom!

A single pedestrian walking too slow,
A child on her bike in the contra-flow,
A Granny and Grandad getting off the bus,
Invading my road, causing this fuss.

We need more rules, we must stop being so lax,
I pay my insurance, I pay my ROAD TAX*,
I’ll beep and make fists and imagine a fight
When my private car is being denied it’s rights.

There’s not enough parking, there’s way too much traffic,
I’ll leave it here on the path, free parking like magic.
Two fingers to double buggies and those wheelchairs can’t pass,
If I don’t leave it here, shur I’ll be too late for mass.

This war on my car, and those fifteen minute cities,
Politicians so selfish, on news seeking pity,
This bloody car culture, and the SUV plague,
‘tis enough to drive us to our early graves.

* nobody pays road tax