John Keyes

His bum gets smaller as he goes
Up the ladder the roof grows
Off the top behind the chimney
Fixing things let’s hope not dizzy.

Hyundai Ford Opel Mazda
Renault Peugot Volvo Honda
Mitsubishi Seat BMW Toyota
Volkswagen Citroen Audi Skoda

Little Timmy went to school
His favourite thing was art
His classmates weren’t quite as fond
Of Timmy's massive farts.

So loud they were when they went off
The children all got frights
The smell was oh so terrible
Their faces scrunched up tight.

Some held their noses from the waft
From Timmy's big backfires,
Some passed out and hit the ground
The smell was just so dire.

Nobody would sit with Timmy
When it was time for lunch
But he wasn’t very sad you see
He was proud as punch.

A Phone Call

The vibration alerts me to the phone ringing.

Should I answer it? Do I think this phone call may be important enough to justify the interruption?

I answer. I listen. Thousands of little simultaneous explosions or geysers or volcanos on the surface of my brain.

“Not again!”

The subject matter is well known, a script well rehearsed by millions. Few people haven’t participated in it’s scenes. Some as the players, some as extras, and some backstage hands. Even the small roles are important.

“Not again!”

It should get easier, it shouldn't shock. I forget my line, I improvise and trip over my tongue, falling flat on my embarrassed face. My failure will be forgiven, it will be forgotten. So too will the role, until;

“Not again!”

Ooh I am a shiny chaser
I chase it every day
But that’s what everyone does
I need to get my pay.

I don’t sit on a fence
I jump through any hoop
And onwards I continue
My life’s a shitty loop.

So much stress and heartache
For oh so little gain
It’s time to think for myself
I’m going to break the chain.