John Keyes

These writings have achieved the goal I set while composing them. The goal is simple: make two boys laugh.

Baluba

Live knife
Love life
Eat lice
Sleep ice
Rich wipe
Cream’n’tripe
Jungle tech
Bumble deck
Piece of nougat
Play a tuba
You’re a baluba.

Fry it up

Roger the bum the son of a gun,
A pick a flick, urrrrrrrgh that’s Limersick,
Finger buried up to the knuckle,
Like a bee in the pollen of a honey-suckle.
Sometimes green or yellow or not,
The greatest meal ever is deep-fried snot.

A&E

I apologise to Goran straight away,
No sensible rhymes will come today.
His name is awkward, somewhat obtuse,
His face reminds me, of a plucked goose.
My heart says no, my head says go on,
Goran you’re a prize MO-RON.

Alas Dr. Sun he is the weakest,
He fell in the grass and hurt his wrist,
I heard a feather fell on his head,
He hit the deck and looked almost dead.
You’d flatten that lad with a slice of bread,
Or so the rabid monkey said.

Enjoy A&E it’s a wonderful place,
Ask them Sun to fix your face,
And if they’ve some spare tape and gum,
They might fix your older brother’s bum.

Happy Birthday

What a fun time with the boy who is nine,
I think you sorta know the gist,
The tale of the boy with the broken wrist,
No cracks in bones were going to stop him,
Throwing, running, even a swim.
Well calling it a swim is rather generous,
Less like a dolphin, more like a platypus,
You’ll miss your Cúl Camp which is tough luck,
I bet you wanted to shout out “F**K!”
Ah well, drive on, it could be worse,
Don’t resort to a simple curse.
Think of all the jobs you can do,
Like that thing and t’other thing too.
Good night good night, Sleep well gentlemen,
Tomorrow’s another day. I bit you adieu.

Snorin’

There was an auld lad named Goran,
His interests I find very borin’
His brain is like slush
His face is like mush
And he has a penchant for snorin’

Poo

There was a young man named Sun
Who had a rather large bum
His face was like stew
His hair was like glue
And his breath smelled like elephant poo.

Grey drapes hang above the horizon,
Sullen sky shapes slide slowly.
A gentle shower of somber sighs,
Descend and make lonely.
Arise light and fly forward gushing,
Bathe the lands with joy.
Know that too it’s temporary,
A fleeting fantasy of fulfilment.
Envelope the chaos and tame it once,
For that’s enough to find peace.

In my opinion, every recent war the US have instigated has been for financial gain (by private entities), and nothing to do with freedom and/or the protection of such.

The Iranians undoubtedly watched the US treatment of two dictators who gave up their quest for nuclear weapons – Iraq’s Saddam Hussein and Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi – and drew the only reasoned lesson: the only way a country can protect itself from US attack, other than full-scale obeisance, is to acquire nuclear weapons. That is precisely why the US and Israel are so eager to ensure they do not.

Via The Guardian.

I had a good chat with Peter Donegan about removing the ash trees. The short version is remove as much of the taproot, as you can without driving yourself mad. The taproot is the main root of the tree, from which lateral roots sprout.

Don’t go chasing the lateral (or surface) roots as the benefit may be minimal. The lateral roots are the ones that fan out to provide support for the tree. These are unlikely to result in new growth so you can leave them in the ground and they should decompose eventually.

If new growth does occur, it won’t matter as the trees I’ve removed were in an area that will be mowed regularly. Any new shoots that appear will be removed before they have a chance to gain much mass.

Don’t take any of this as gospel, it’s what I interpreted/remembered from the chat. All I know is that I’m happy to have them removed.

Lady luck was sitting on my shoulder recently when I won a Kindle 3. Like a new parent worrying about all the awful mishaps that could befall my child, I immediately started looking at cases to provide some protection for the svelte device.

I narrowed the choices down to an Otterbox or a DODOcase.

When it comes to wrapping up electronics in a protective outer-garment I usually chose protection over aesthetics. In this case though I’ve decided to plump for a DODOcase.

Sensible John is saying “Cop on lad will ya!”, but book-lover John doesn’t want to make reading a cold robotic experience. By using a DODOcase I am introducing a level of warmth that will hopefully allow me to better connect with my reading.

Another reason for this choice is the fact that DODOcases are handmade. I’m a great admirer of craftsmanship, and a handmade cover like this, appeals to me. I know that each time I pick it up, my hands will appreciate this fact.

DODOcase