1. Bedtime Songlist 01-Apr-2013

    • Don’t Know Why (Norah Jones)
    • Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol)
    • Beautiful (Christina Aguilera)
    • Stand By Me (Ben E. King)
    • Take my Breath Away (Berlin)
    • More than Words (Extreme)
    • Summer of ‘69 (Bryan Adams)
  2. Irish Anti-Gay Commerical

    The following is the transcript of a video created for the Iona Institute.

    When a man and woman fall in love, they can get married, right? So why can’t two men, or two women who love each other get married as well? Isn’t it discrimination to stop them? Except it’s not discrimination, to treat different situations in different ways. Everyone in caring, dependant relationships, deserves legal protection. But the relationship of a man and a woman is unique. Only a man and a woman can make new life. Only a man and a woman can give a child a mum and a dad. No two men, and no two women, can ever do this. So it makes sense to treat something unique, in a unique way. That’s not discrimination. Marriage is a private promise between two people, but it has a big public purpose as well. That purpose is unique and important, to give children the love of their mum and dad in one family. Of course, not all married couples have children, but every child ever born has a mum and a dad. Marriage between a man and a woman recognises this basic fact and that’s why marriage is our most important social institution. It’s our way of saying that the differences between men and women matter, that the differences between mothers and fathers matter, and that kids have a right to what they long for, a loving mum and dad. So let’s not change the message of marriage by redefining it, for the sake of our children.

    And this is the pastel coloured, well-animated version, with happy families ambient background music, and oh-so sensible young-adult male and female voiceovers.

    Irish Anti-Gay Commercial

    I’m going to have a look at some of the contents to see if I can make any sense out of them, after all there may be some wisdom amongst all the shite.

    “it’s not discrimination, to treat different situations in different ways”

    Seriously? Merriam-Webster disagrees:

    to make a difference in treatment or favor on a basis other than individual merit

    Ah well, maybe they had a late night when scripting it, so I’ll forgive them that error (after all forgiveness is an important cornerstone of christianity).

    Everyone in caring, dependant relationships, deserves legal protection.

    You see, they don’t hate gays, after all if two men or two women are in a caring dependant relationship, it’s wrong to discriminate against them by not offering legal protection.

    But the relationship of a man and a woman is unique.

    Ah lads, don’t hijack what a relationship is now will you. Oh wait, you mean a sexual relationship, is it? The absence of the word sex in the script is unsurprising. After all, this isn’t about sex, it’s about the children. I mean what kind of a relationship can you have without children on the scene. But it’s okay childless married people, this video won’t discriminate against you either, you’ll get a mention later on.

    Only a man and a woman can give a child a mum and a dad.

    They must have been wrecked when they were scripting this. It seems they forgot to include the word biological as well. Plenty of men and women are mums and dads to children whom they have no biological link with. This is bloody obvious, isn’t it? Does the Iona Institute really believe that a biological connection is stronger than a bond forged through years of care, and love?

    No two men, and no two women, can ever do this.

    A sex-education lesson in forty-seven characters.

    So it makes sense to treat something unique, in a unique way.
    That’s not discrimination.

    Sigh. Okay, let’s say my unicorn, Starlight, tells me that this really is something unique (I always believe my unicorn), that still isn’t enough to convince me that it’s not discrimination. I’m waiting for someone to hit me with a frying pan engraved with Godwin’s Law.

    Marriage is a private promise between two people, but it has a big public purpose as well. That purpose is unique and important, to give children the love of their mum and dad in one family.

    Let me tell you all a little story of how myself and my then girlfriend decided to get married. You see, we’d been dating for a number of years. I was (and still am) a man, she was (and still is) a woman. It was almost as if we were born for some public purpose. We tried to figure out what the reason was.

    Endless cups of tea, pints of beer, and expensive spirit and mixer combinations were used to try to expand our minds so that we could hopefully find what that special purpose was. (A more economically sound approach would have been to contact the Iona Institute.)

    Then one day it struck us, it was our public duty to make babies! We were so lucky that we didn’t have our children before we got married. I shudder to think of how everything might have turned out differently if we did. To know, that we’d let down “the public”, that we’d missed our true purpose, that we’d… WILL YOU SHUT UP!

    It’s our way of saying that the differences between men and women matter

    cough discrimination cough

    So let’s not change the message of marriage by redefining it, for the sake of our children.

    But it’s okay to change the message of discrimination by redefining it?

    If men are allowed to marry men, and women are allowed to marry women (see how cool us mums and dads are for allowing this) something is going to happen my children? Can I buy some kind of alarm to alert me when this danger is imminent?

    It interests me that the script always puts men before women, but mums before dads. Maybe I’m just reading too much into that, the fact that I’m not washing the kitchen floor before bed allows me such a luxury.

    The title of the video on YouTube is interesting too. It’s a more honest title than the video would suggest.

  3. Intimate Worlds

    We all live in our own intimate worlds. I see many though who frequent the world’s of others, but don’t commit to them.

    I have many flaws and failings, and for the most part I can accept them with a “I really wish I didn’t do that”. Deep down, there are certain standards I maintain that are concrete.

    For example, I hate seeing people getting herded together for photographs, that to me, lose all the loveliness and closeness of those people being together.

    I hate cameras up in babies faces, flashing away, something which these little people have no say in.

    I hate people constantly checking their phone while members of their intimate worlds, whom they see infrequently, are participating in play or conversation around them.

    Why are we so busy making these archives of our lives, when we don’t live our lives to their fullest. There needs to be a balance between being in the moment, and recording the moment. Can you be in the moment if you are recording it?

    I hate insincerity.

    “Thanks”. A word that people think covers all. Sometimes I prefer not to hear it, when all you’re doing is rattling off something that social convention deems you must. Give thanks with action, with presence, or with sincerity. “Sorry” carries a much greater weight for me.

    Don’t take your membership of an intimate world for granted. It’s something that requires constant attention, constant care, and above all undiluted sincerity.

    I don’t believe in any higher beings. I don’t believe in any higher worlds. I live where I live, I live in the now, and I try to surround myself with those I love.

    My intimate worlds are the most precious places, but they are fragile. Maybe the fragility is part of the cost of membership; an attribute to stimulate the organism’s fear of loneliness.

    I work hard to protect my intimate worlds. Can one’s standards, one’s rules, ultimately destroy them?

  4. Writings to my nephews

    These writings have achieved the goal I set while composing them. The goal is simple: make two boys laugh.

    Baluba

    Live knife
    Love life
    Eat lice
    Sleep ice
    Rich wipe
    Cream’n’tripe
    Jungle tech
    Bumble deck
    Piece of nougat
    Play a tuba
    You’re a baluba.

    Fry it up

    Roger the bum the son of a gun,
    A pick a flick, urrrrrrrgh that’s Limersick,
    Finger buried up to the knuckle,
    Like a bee in the pollen of a honey-suckle.
    Sometimes green or yellow or not,
    The greatest meal ever is deep-fried snot.

    A&E

    I apologise to Goran straight away,
    No sensible rhymes will come today.
    His name is awkward, somewhat obtuse,
    His face reminds me, of a plucked goose.
    My heart says no, my head says go on,
    Goran you’re a prize MO-RON.

    Alas Dr. Sun he is the weakest,
    He fell in the grass and hurt his wrist,
    I heard a feather fell on his head,
    He hit the deck and looked almost dead.
    You’d flatten that lad with a slice of bread,
    Or so the rabid monkey said.

    Enjoy A&E it’s a wonderful place,
    Ask them Sun to fix your face,
    And if they’ve some spare tape and gum,
    They might fix your older brother’s bum.

    Happy Birthday

    What a fun time with the boy who is nine,
    I think you sorta know the gist,
    The tale of the boy with the broken wrist,
    No cracks in bones were going to stop him,
    Throwing, running, even a swim.
    Well calling it a swim is rather generous,
    Less like a dolphin, more like a platypus,
    You’ll miss your Cúl Camp which is tough luck,
    I bet you wanted to shout out “F**K!”
    Ah well, drive on, it could be worse,
    Don’t resort to a simple curse.
    Think of all the jobs you can do,
    Like that thing and t’other thing too.
    Good night good night, Sleep well gentlemen,
    Tomorrow’s another day. I bit you adieu.

    Snorin’

    There was an auld lad named Goran,
    His interests I find very borin’
    His brain is like slush
    His face is like mush
    And he has a penchant for snorin’

    Poo

    There was a young man named Sun
    Who had a rather large bum
    His face was like stew
    His hair was like glue
    And his breath smelled like elephant poo.

  5. Transient state of mind

    Grey drapes hang above the horizon,
    Sullen sky shapes slide slowly.
    A gentle shower of somber sighs,
    Descend and make lonely.
    Arise light and fly forward gushing,
    Bathe the lands with joy.
    Know that too it’s temporary,
    A fleeting fantasy of fulfilment.
    Envelope the chaos and tame it once,
    For that’s enough to find peace.